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  • Wonderful Women: Lauren White of Sexosophy

    Lauren White is a sexologist, a nurse, a wife, a soon to be published author and the director of Sexosophy. Sexosophy is a business which helps women discover and maintain healthy and empowered sexuality, so they can live with vitality. We have asked Lauren some questions about her work, sexuality and what exactly Sexosophy is.

    Lauren is the first woman to be interviewed in our Wonderful Women series, feel free to spread the love and let women in Brisbane know about Sexosophy

    Interview by Vanessa Muradian

     

    Sexosophy what is it and what does it mean?

    Our individual Sexosophy comprises our beliefs, values, principles and knowledge that we own through our experienced eroticism and sexuality. The word Sexosophy pays homage to where an individual has been, where they are at and where they are going in their sexual journeys. In the competitiveness of today’s world, positive and empowering references about our sexuality can be missed, leaving our authentic bodies yearning for something deeper.The various spaces that I create with people aim to promote optimal sexual pleasure and wellbeing for both women and men.

    How did you get to this place of creating Sexosophy? Why do you do it?

    I had finished my sexology degree and was left wondering what to do with it! I wondered how I could translate all of this information to the public and individuals in a sex-positive way. The idea came to me to combine my counselling skills, nursing background and sexology degree to create a practice that involves sex coaching, workshops, pleasure object parties by Mia Muse and freelance writing. I always wanted to call the business Sexosophy because of the definition and the fact that I wanted a name that was transparent about the nature and philosophy of my business.

    We know that your own journey toward finding your sexosophy has been jam packed full of amazing adventures, what would you say were the greatest experiences, the ones that resonated with you most?

    Yes, that is true! 2012 was a year full of personal sexuality experiences and these were invaluable in terms of improving my sexual confidence and understanding of my body. All of my exploration touched me in some way but the ones that stand out are: learning orgasmic yoga (I see it as advanced self-pleasuring), seeing a sexological bodyworker to allow me permission to let go and feel orgasmic energy beyond an orgasm and attending a women’s sexuality retreat, which was a very deep experience in the company of other women who were ready to overcome blockages and feel.

    How are you going to get people to have similar experiences? Or find their sexosophy?

    In order to help people define and construct their own sexosophy, I walk alongside them as they guide me through where they have been and where they want to go. I put options to them that are best suited to their concern and advocate for home experiments to begin the self-exploration process. For anything that I propose, the client needs to want to go through with it and they need to be ready. It’s not always easy but the breakthroughs can be life-transforming.

    Who do you think will benefit most from your sessions?

    The people that will have the most benefit are those that are ready to address their sexual hang-ups and concerns and are willing to be proactive in accessing their sexuality. They can be from any walk of life because that is what our individual sexosophy honours. There are, however, some concerns that I am not trained to handle, so I always have a chat with potential clients to ensure I am the right person for them.   

    Why do you think sex and sexuality is important?

    Historically, sex and sexuality has been on par with survival and over time we have learnt to control and contain it. But that doesn’t mean it is any less important or essential to being human. I like to honour our primitive form, in which life was hunt, eat, sex, sleep (not necessarily in that order!) Our bodies need sex, regardless of the desire to procreate. What tells me this is that we have nocturnal orgasms when we are asleep, which is a way that our body reminds us that we still have sexual needs when we neglect to have sex. The pleasure and release it brings is vital to health, happiness and well-being.

    Where do you see yourself in 2 years time?

    I see myself juggling all my passions – Sexosophy, my relationships, travel, health… Basically being very busy but not wanting it any other way. I see myself starting a second book and really having Sexosophy support me so that I can be less of a nurse and more of a sexologist. I hope in the next 2 years that thousands of people have read or heard my messages about sexuality and that these resonate and motivate.

    What’s your Sexosophy?

    My sexosophy is to nurture my sexual body in some way on a daily basis; this doesn’t always mean sex as we know it. It can be a special conversation, a lingering kiss, writing about sex or just fantasising. What becomes more apparent with time is that sexual expression comes in many guises so I like to pay attention to the little details in life that represent my sexosophy. Equally important is my relationship with my husband as this is a long-term investment that has great returns when we share and explore our sexual ideas and values.

    Generally speaking…

    What does sexuality mean to you?

    It means being real, true, authentic and human. To live with a true form of sexuality is to really feel alive and to have both clarity and depth with each step that you take. It is this type of sexuality that both fills the space and is the space. It is bigger than the mind, body and soul and is capable of transcendental moments that allow us to feel authentically connected. It is that part of us that we don’t know how we lived without once we start to feel again, especially after orgasm. It is behind everything!

    Have you had any breakthrough moments regarding your sexuality?

    I have been through a number of sexual crises as I put it. These are the times where I want to strip myself of everything in my sexual past and become “new” again. But what lies on the other side of this is a breakthrough, a revelation or a discovery. This happened last year and your sexuality is no different from other things in life where ‘if nothing changes, nothing changes’. If you don’t undertake any challenges or exploration, it is unlikely that you will have these breakthroughs. Mine have been worth it for the light they have shed and I can only hope that the same thing happens for others.

    What is your best resource for finding out more about sex and sexuality? Please be specific.

    People! They are full of individual experiences that are so varied. People tell you more about the quality of sexuality than a journal article or book. But second to that, there are some great resources like the Museum of Sex (NY) site, the multi-orgasmic man and woman books, the Huffington post online (they do a lot of sex articles), one-to-one sessions with sexological bodyworkers and sex coaches, public workshops like Pleasure Forum (Melbourne) and those at Sexpo and DVD’s and books available through www.eroticmassage.com as these acknowledge esoteric and spiritual sexuality practices like yoni (vulva) massage.  

    Describe sex in one word?

    Endless.

    If sex or sexuality was a song, what song would it be?

    Unfinished Symphony by Massive Attack. It has a sexual pulse and it is great to have sex to! Deep, melodic, spine tingling good song!

    Thank you!

    www.sexosophy.com.au

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