How To: Oral Sex [Pussy]
When it comes to oral sex, every body is different. We like to be touched differently, we enjoy different sensations, and we want different experiences. So, when eating pussy, we need to be sensitive to these differences — willing to be curious and to adapt to your partner’s pleasures.
We’ve asked our expert lesbian lovers to share their sexy — and sometimes practical — tips that have helped many pussies have a really good time. Before reading on though, it’s important to remember: these tips are not a ‘one size fits all’. Some like it fast, some slow, some slow then fast, some may like it slow... but only on a Tuesday — get it?
Take time getting to know your lover and make sure to ask questions along the way. Are you into this? How does this feel? Where do you want me to touch you?
Though asking questions can initially feel awkward, they are actually a great way to connect and foster mutual respect. And, eventually, you might even find that they become incorporated into the rhythm of your erotics. Plus, of course, questions are essential for healthy consent, boundaries, and pleasure exploration.
Below are our 8 tips for erotic and sensual oral sex with a lover’s vulva and vagina
Get cosy & comfortable: OH & S is still relevant in sexy times. A pillow or two under their hips can save a stiff neck for you. You can also position yourself on a pillow on the floor and have their legs hang over the end of the bed. A good position will allow for better access to their vulva. Make sure the room is warm enough to be naked. If they are cold it will take twice as long to get them warm, and they may spend most of the time worrying about how cold they are.
Love and worship the pussy/vulva/yoni that you are going down on (yoni means vagina inclusive of your vulva, in Sanskrit). The person receiving the oral sex will be able to tell whether you are into it or not. The greatest gift you can give to a lover is presence. Remember when you are going down on them, this is all about them, not you and your performance!
Eat it like you love it! In saying that I mean – enjoy it and savour it like it’s the last melting spoonful of your favourite ice cream. Do not devour it like it’s that last bit of crackling on a share plate and if you don’t shove it in your mouth as quickly as possible your friend will steal it… Speaking of, here is my next point…
Take your time, don’t rush straight to the clitoris or even the vulva, let go of the idea of goal oriented sex, ie. that you want to make them orgasm as quickly as possible. Many people enjoy having their lower stomachs, inner thighs, waists, breasts and around the breasts kissed, hip bones grabbed, or stroked softly, etc. The body is your oyster to discover. Tease them before you make your way down! Between kisses and strokes around the rest of the body, brush their mound or vulva. Doing this will let them know that you haven’t forgotten or that you are getting there! Tease even around the vulva, lick a little bit on the outer labia, blow softly before you start to softly lick… just work it and work it really slowly. If you struggle taking your time, it will likely be half-hearted and maybe not even worth your while. So get back to enjoying it and no doubt they will too.
Tongue technique: there are many types of tongue! You can make it flat, pointy, strong, soft and sensual. Use different strokes at different times! In general, often start slow and soft and then build up. Wet is good, (yes, use your salvia, it helps). You can even come at this tongue movement from the side (like your kissing a mouth) it can be easier to get all up in there if your head is tilted. Keep steady rhythm with your licks for a few minutes at a time. You can also use tongue to write the alphabet over and around the clit, drawing the, a, b, c, etc. just for something different. You can also just kiss the vulva like you would a mouth. And don’t forget that you can take big long licks slowly from the base of the vulva all the way up to the clitoris, where you can take a few smaller licks.
Use your hands while you’re using your mouth! Work your hands over their body, lightly, or grab them where they like to be grabbed. Sometimes even grabbing their hips (again, like you love them, or perhaps you do love them!) will bring the attention to that area. Moving your hands around the breasts, nipples and their heart, up and down their body will bring energy and wild connection; this is a tantric technique and is great for generating heat and movement in the body.
Frame work: you can also use your hands, particularly your thumbs, to massage up the labia majora, this will get the blood flowing to the area and trust me will feel really great. Stroke up with your thumbs while holding their clit in your mouth (pause your licking while stroking) and wait while the blood flows in. The nerve endings in the labia will go wild.
Use your fingers (after some time) to go inside and stimulate their g-spot. Don’t do this right away. The trick is to wait until they are sufficiently turned on and enjoying themselves. Once you’ve decided it’s time, tease around the opening of their vagina before entering slowly. Be curious and responsive to what you notice your partner likes, eventually making your way to the g-spot (up toward their belly button and closer to where your head is. It is the front wall of the vagina), it will feel a bit ribbed like the roof of your mouth. Massage slowly there. Another hand technique is similar to that of a cork screw — enter the two fingers together, then slowly withdraw them while twisting the fingers together as one unit like they’re a corkscrew! Remember to experiment, push your fingers down (opposite to g-spot) and drag them out - some find this just as stimulating. Or you could use a g-spot toy here, a dildo or a vibrator.